A FUN JOB!
by Kathleen
Lyvers
A customer crosses your threshhold for
the first time and invariably utters that genuinely heartfelt phrase, "You
must have so much fun working here!" -or- the
matter of fact, "You have such a fun job!". Your jaw slackens a
little and you avert your gaze somewhat (hoping that it doesn't look as though
you're 'rolling' your eyes). You manage to stammer, "Uuhh...."
and not wanting to elaborate, just kind of mutter something to the effect of,
"Oh, yes, we love our puppies".
Welcome to the world of pet grooming! Yes, we do love our
puppies, yet one who has never experienced it could never begin to imagine what
'fun' we do have each and every day. While 'puppy love' is high on our list of
priorities and is indeed a job requirement, we do get those few canines that
are a little difficult to warm up to.
Consider Muffy who consistently
soils her cage approximately 3 minutes after she is placed in it...no matter
how long you coax her to eliminate prior. Oh, I almost forgot to mention....she
will be sure to stomp all over it just to be sure she makes it worth your while
to clean up after her in the first place.
There's Teddy who will lift his leg on your equipment and/or the
wall behind your table the instant you take your eyes off him. Teddy isn't
neutered so he savors the scent of any bitch that has been on your table within
the past 10 days. He sniffs and twitches and vibrates in ecstasy while you go
about attempting your task of grooming. If you've groomed a bitch that same
day, he's likely to fall head over heels for your hand and arm and any other
part of your body that's touched her...even though you've washed up 12 times
prior to handling him. In fact, he holds the ladies in such high esteem that he may very well urinate on them if he gets
within 7 feet. What a range!
Mac...now that's a lovable beast! He's in every Friday and he
still gives you a hard time. He snarls the second you take hold of his lead. He
thrashes and growls when you lift him into the tub. He lunges and snaps and
snarls while you're soaping him up...all the while your sweat glands are
working overtime and you're thinking, "If he nails me today, this is the
absolute last time....".
Love our puppies? You betcha!... though some are less than lovable, we perform our task
to the best of our ability because their owners have delegated us to it. It's
what we do and what many of us do well and without reservation. Though these
pups give us a hard time, the owner in each case is a very nice person; a pleasure
to serve.
Muffy's mom is apologetic for Muffy's
lack of etiquette. Teddy's owner is embarrassed by his behavior and wants him
neutered but her husband won't allow it (must be a BOY thing). Mac's owner is a meek, mild, polite gentleman who would pale should
we inform him of Mac's aggressive behavior. But what happens if the dog
and owner are both hard to get along with?
Take for example, Ms. PT (short for Preferential Treatment). She
calls at 10:30am Friday and announces that she needs PeeWee
groomed because she is having guests for the weekend. PeeWee
is an obese cocker that has no inclination whatsoever to participate in the
grooming process....do what you will as long as she doesn't have to stand or
hold her head anywhere but level to the tabletop. Now, Ms. PT is accustomed to
getting PeeWee in-and-out and she won't have it any
other way today. You figure that you can add PeeWee
to the lineup if you work a little overtime, but in-and-out isn't possible
because of all your 'already-here' scheduled appointments. "Sure, Ms. PT,
I can work her in today, but I'm afraid she'll be here a little longer than
usual, OK?" You'll hear a prompt click or you'll be pressured to drop all
else in favor of PeeWee. Either way, Ms. PT has
definitely turned hostile.
Mrs. Antsinpants, who drops off Bugsy a 9:00am, is on the phone at 10:00am asking if he is
ready yet. Bugsy, of course, is hard to handle so
necessitates 'extra time', and never mind that he was behind 4 other clients
coming through the door a mere hour ago.
Mrs. BLTN (Better Late Than Never) can
never be reached when Missy is ready and shows up after closing time. The
excuse is either, "I was stuck in traffic" -or- "I witnessed an
accident". Considering the number of times this excuse has been used, one
would have to believe that this lady is a professional witness. And...you can count on Missy to soil her cage and squat in
it before she's retrieved.
Mr. Longgoodbyes stands at the
door clinging to Angel and she to him in a vise-like grip, while you stand there
wishing he would just hand her over so you can get on with your work. Many hugs
and kisses later, he finally turns her loose and you're sure the receptionist
will offer him a tissue on the way out. Once in your grasp, Angel will
immediately morph into a vicious, bloodletting beastie.
Picture this......9am Friday morning. Mrs. Antsinpants
& Bugsy are in line behind 4 other clients
including Muffy & Mom and Mr. Longgoodbyes
& Angel . While trying to pry Angel from Mr. Longgoodbyes, Muffy is already
caged and treading poop; Mom apologizes profusely as she makes it for the exit.
The phone is ringing and you're letting the machine answer....Mrs. BLTN is
leaving a message saying that she will be 2 hours late bringing Missy in and
she promises to pick her up prior to witnessing any accidents on the return
trip later. You excuse yourself in order to move Muffy
to another cage while Mr. Longgoodbyes engages Angel
in another liplock. Mrs. Antsinpants
is standing there stifling a guffaw because of Mr. Longgoodbyes'
behavior, yet manages to catch your eye after you've relocated Muffy, plunks Bugsy into your
arms and announces she'll be back at 10:30am. You decide to allow Mr. Longgoodbyes and Angel a little more time to disengage, so
you go about the business of disposing of Muffy's
waste. Finally, that's all done and you return to the task of acquiring Angel.
Even though he now has your undivided attention, Mr. Longgoodbyes
still cannot part with Angel. You finally sigh and lower your arms, turn to
walk away and wouldn't you know it?? Mr. Longgoodbyes
decides it's time to say goodbye. Now in your capable hands, Angel is writhing,
baring her teeth, trying to position herself for the kill and all the while Mr.
Longgoodbyes is blowing her kisses as he backs out of
the door. It's already 9:45am and you thought you had your day well
planned......
It's a heck of a job, this grooming profession....this chosen
career that requires a mix of artistic ability, agility, dexterity, patience,
humaneness, nerves and stomach of steel. Whether it be
to transform a plain-jane pooch into a work of art
-or- to make a neglected, depressed pup feel comfortable and loved, we beckon
to the call.
But FUN? Funny, I've never thought of it that way.