It
has occurred to me that many of our customer relations problems are due to our failure
to understand what the customer is actually saying. Many of us labor under the
mistaken belief that our customers are speaking the same language we are.
However, years of research have led me to conclude that a translation of
customer talk to groomer talk is needed. I will start and the rest of you may
wish to add your own translations.
The
owner says, "My dog doesn't bite."
The owner means, "He hasn't bitten anyone since he bit the last person who
groomed him."
The
owner says, "What time do you close?"
The owner means, "This dog barks non stop for hours so I thought I'd give
the neighbors a break and leave him with you until two seconds before closing
time."
The
owner says, "He's not a very big dog."
The owner means, "He's not very big compared to the Budweiser
Clydesdales."
The
owner says, "Just give him the style you think will look cutest."
The owner means, "When I come to pick him up I'll ask you to do the body
shorter, take off the mustache, raise the feet, shorten the topknot, bob the
ears and change the color of the bows and polish."
The owner says, "My neighbor (brother,
mother) has been taking care of him while I was on vacation (in the
hospital)."
The owner means, "I'm embarrassed by the condition of this dog so I want
to blame someone else."
The
owner says, "What time do you come in?"
The owner means, "I'll show up an hour before that time so I can accuse
you of being late."
The
owner says, "My dog doesn't need a dip or medicated shampoo."
The owner means, "My dog has a million fleas and very bad skin but I don't
want to pay extra and I'm hoping that you'll feel sorry for the dog and do it
for free."
The
owner says, "He's perfectly healthy, never been sick a day."
The owner means, "I'm going to blame you if this dog gets worms,
cataracts, arthritis, heart trouble or any other ailment within five
years."
The
owner says, "My dog got fleas in your shop."
The owner means, "My house and yard are flea infested but I expect several
free dips anyway."
The
owner says, "I tried the groomer up the street and she did a terrible
job."
The owner means, "I'll think you did a terrible job too."
The
owner says, "Do you tranquilize the dogs?"
The owner means, "This dog is a noisy, hyper active, man eater and by the
time he is done YOU'LL need a valium."
The
owner says, "He doesn't have any mats."
The owner means, "He got matted to the skin in the back seat of the car on
the way to the groomer."
The
owner says, "Take all the time you need. I'm not in a hurry."
The owner means "I'm going to call you in fifteen minutes and tell you I
just remembered that I have 17 people arriving for cocktails in an hour and I
MUST pick up the dog before then."
The
owner says, "I know my appointment is for 12 but can I just drop him off
at 9?"
The owner means, "I expect you to make the 9 o'clock appointment, and all
others wait, while you do my dog first."
The
owner says, "I have to find someone to do him today."
The owner means, "My mother-in-law hasn't visited us for two years and
she's arriving today and the dog hasn't been groomed since her last
visit."
The
owner says, "Shave him as close as you can."
The owner means "He gets shaved once a year - whether he needs it or
not."